Jack O'Rourke hoisted his Tullamore Dew and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!'
That won him the top prize at the Club for the best toast of the night!
He stumbled back across the street and told his wife, Marilyn, 'I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.'
She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?'
Jack said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.'
'Oh, that is very nice indeed, Jack!' Marilyn said.
The next day, Marilyn ran into Joe Bernas at the city market.
Joe chuckled leeringly and said, 'Jack won the prize the other night at the Club with a toast about you, Marilyn'
She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.
And another one......
Three cowboys were seated around the campfire out on the lonesome sagebrush prairie and with the pride for which these men were famous, it was a night of bravado, a night of tall tales...
Tom, the hand from Wyoming says, 'I must be the strongest, meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral. It had gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns with my bare hands and castrated that sucker with my teeth..'
Bern from Montana , couldn't stand to be bested... That's nothing, 'I was walking down the trail yesterday and a 15 foot diamondback rattler sli d out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that bastard with my bare hands, bit off its head, and sucked the poison down in one gulp and didn't even get a belly ache.'
Bob, the cowboy from Texas remained silent, slowly stirring the campfire coals with his pecker.......
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Voted Best Joke on 12th Avenue in 2008
